


things you're dying to tell

by stefonzolesky



Series: american pining [5]
Category: American Pie (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-26 14:07:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19007338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stefonzolesky/pseuds/stefonzolesky
Summary: Contrary to popular belief, Stifler isn't stupid. He knows better than that.





	things you're dying to tell

As if finally, after so many years, getting to kiss Oz wasn’t enough -- but to keep it a secret from Finch? Even better. 

Oz doesn't seem to like it very much, but he likes the alternative even less. For some reason, the idea of telling his friends that he's interested in men, and furthermore, interested in  _ Stifler _ , seems impossible to him.

It's not like it matters, though. They aren't exclusive. And it shouldn't bother Stifler, either, because he's never been an exclusive kind of guy.

It bothers him. It definitely bothers him.

 

+

 

"Are you going out tonight?" Oz asks him. He stayed the night at Stifler's apartment the night before, and for some reason, he still hasn't left. "Finch got a new girlfriend, he wants everyone to come meet her. I don't know if you were included in that, but--"

"I wasn't," Stifler interrupts. "I don't think he'd want me there."

Oz frowns. "You should come anyway. I think… because you're my…" He hesitates. "You should come anyway."

Stifler thinks it might be unhealthy, the things he'd do for Oz. He's never been one to care about health too much anyway.

 

+

 

Oz doesn't stop going out with girls. He calls it "keeping up appearances," but contrary to popular belief, Stifler isn't stupid. He knows better than that. He knows that he's just a placeholder, or that Oz is just with him out of pity, or whatever.

But he loves Oz, so, at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter.

 

+

 

It can't be a coincidence that Oz's lips fit perfectly against Stifler's. It just can't be.

Making out in public bathrooms while Oz's friends -- Stifler doesn't dare call them  _ their _ friends, not when he knows how much they'd rather he wasn't there -- are sitting in the room over has become a regular occurrence. Stifler is all but complaining.

"You're fucking great at this," He says against Oz's mouth. "You have no idea how pissed I am that I didn't talk to you sooner."

Oz threads his hand through Stifler's hair. "What, like, in college? Then we could write it off as college experimentation."

Stifler groans and rolls his eyes. "Ozzy, you shithead. I'm  _ gay. _ There wouldn't be any coming back from that for me."

Oz laughs into Stifler's mouth.

"I never would have known," He says.

Stifler breaks their kiss. A pang hits his chest.

"It's because I got used to hiding it," He says quietly. "Before I even knew what it was, I couldn't let you know."

That really shuts Oz up. Stifler almost regrets admitting it.

 

+

 

Stifler has almost forgotten how awful it was to pine after Oz at this point. 

Until they’re back at Oz’s apartment, Stifler watching Oz strip himself of his shirt, tired after a night of drinking and dancing and catching up with his friends.

He sits down on the bed next to Stifler, on top of the blankets.

“I’m sorry,” He says softly. “For making you wait so long. And for not being able to… commit. Admit anything. I don’t know.”

“It’s not like I’ve told anyone, anyway,” Stifler reasons. He doesn’t want Oz to beat himself up about this. “Besides Michelle. But if it weren’t for her…”

“We wouldn't be here,” Oz finishes. “I’m still sorry.”

They sit in silence. Stifler can hear Oz’s uneven breathing. He’s upset.

“You know it’s not your fault,” He continues. Stifler blinks. “You know I’m not embarrassed of you, right?”

“I mean, I didn’t think…” Stifler trails off. It  _ is _ something he’s thought about, how all through high school and all through college Oz kind of… tolerated him. Barely. “Okay, no, I…” How they didn’t talk for years because Oz was just so much  _ better than that. _

“I can tell someone,” Oz offers. “Not everyone. But if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll tell someone.”

“Not Finch,” Stifler says.

Oz nods. “Not Finch. Logically, if anyone, I should tell Jim. Because Michelle knows.”

“He’ll make it a whole thing,” Stifler reasons. “Not Jim.”

“Not Jim,” Oz agrees. “Kevin.”

“Kevin,” Stifler says. “He’s… yeah, you know, that sounds pretty good.”

Oz nods, teeth pulling at his lower lip.

“You don’t have to,” Stifler promises. “I know you’re still seeing girls and everything. You’re… with other people. So it doesn’t really make sense to make a big deal of, oh, we’re not even fucking or anything.”

Stifler never imagined he’d be okay with that, really. The fact that they aren’t fucking.

“You’re a big deal,” Oz tells him. “I’ll tell someone, because you’re a big deal.”

 

+

 

Stifler takes way too long to realize that he doesn’t exactly have friends. 

Oz is his friend. Michelle might be his friend. End list.

If he fucks this thing up with Oz, there goes everything he has. Everything he cares about.

 

+

 

Stifler tests the waters with Oz's friends, while they're out one night. Just to find out how much they tolerate him. And maybe to get some solid advice, if they have any to offer.

Oz said he would tell Kevin, but he hasn't yet, and even though Stifler promises him that it isn't a big deal…

Well, it is.

Oz gets up to go get drinks, but when it's been five minutes and now he's talking to the cute, angular blonde girl next to him, Stifler thinks it's safe to assume he isn't coming back soon.

"Can I ask you guys a question?" Stifler asks.

"You just did," Finch says.

Stifler rolls his eyes. "That's a yes, then. So what if… So I'm dating this girl, right?" Yes. Perfect. Hypotheticals are fun, and they won't get suspicious, because they think Stifler likes girls. This is going well. "I'm dating this girl, and I think… I mean, I  _ know _ I'm in love with her."

"Love?" Kevin asks, lifting an eyebrow.

"Love," Stifler confirms. He's been thinking about this long enough to know it's love. "Or, I mean. We're kind of dating. I haven't… slept with her, but she's slept with other…" Don't say girls. Don't say girls. "She's slept with other guys. I think. I don't know, we don't talk about it. We aren't exclusive. I wanna be, though."

Stifler's eyes are drawn towards Oz coming back with their drinks, so he rips them away and tries to listen to the consensus.

"You need to try and say something," Jim tells him. "I mean, for you… for someone like you, to feel like that. That's big. Right?" He glances towards his friends.

Kevin nods. "Right. That's a big deal. I mean, its time you settle down anyway. If this girl won't settle down for you… maybe you should find someone else."

Stifler can't help but laugh. "You have no idea how much I can't find anyone else. This… this  _ girl _ , she's all I have."

Oz's friends look uncomfortable. Stifler tries to focus on something else. On Oz taking his seat again.

"I think I'm gonna go home," Stifler says. His mouth feels numb. "I'll catch a cab. See you guys."

Oz's friends dissolve into a chorus of "bye, Stifler, see you later, Stifler, nice talking to you, Stifler."

But Oz says, "Let me give you a ride. I haven't had much to drink."

Stifler is hesitant to accept, but he lets Oz lead him to the car anyway.

 

+

 

Stifler doesn’t talk to Oz, and Oz doesn’t talk to Kevin.

Things stay the same. But, if he’s being honest, Stifler doesn’t think he can complain. As long as he still gets to kiss Oz at the end of the day, everything’s alright by him.


End file.
